Judge.

judg·ment [juhj-muhnt]

noun

1.an act or instance of judging.

2.the ability to judge, make a decision, or form an opinionobjectively, authoritatively, and wisely
especially in matters affecting action; good sense; discretion: a man of sound judgment.

3.the demonstration or exercise of such ability or capacity:
The major was decorated for the judgment he showed under fire.

4.the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion,
as from circumstances presented to the mind:
Our judgment as to the cause of his failure must rest on the evidence.

5.the opinion formed: He regretted his hasty judgment.

Matthew 7:1-5 ESV

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

James 4:12 ESV

There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

OH MAN! It has been a very long time since I have updated this blog.

Every so often I will get the itch to, then I get lazy.
At this point in time though, it does not hold priority I suppose.
Just an quick update. I am now entering my 5th term of nursing school!
(If you remember way back in July, I was 2 out of 5)
This means I graduate in about 2 months! (June 26th is my last day as a matter of fact)
I plan to go into mental health & I am trying to stay open with my options.
I work in the Financial Aid office at school still, as well as individuals with special needs.
On weekends & spare nights, babysitting is a staple.
I am still happily single. There was a brief period I was not,
But through that relationship I realized I have a lot of growing to do. :)

The Lord is continuously cementing His truth into my heart.
His vigilance towards His children's hearts.
His desire for us to be in sync with Him.
It is hard, uncomfortable, & at times exhausting.
But there is so much joy that come from being so close to the Father.

Throughout the process of clinicals, classes, & friendships...
It seems that judgement & bitterness are the hardest sins to battle.
Every time you feel confident that you are doing well...

BAM!

There it is again.
Unwelcome as ever.

There is so much of it.
I have a hard time not playing into it.
I will go weeks without being catty about someone,
Then one conversation later, it is back to my old ways.
It is a disgusting trait.
It does no good to that person.
It does no good for you.

It does no one ANY good.

So why is it so hard to deal with?

It is quite clear through out the Word that we are to be encourager's to our brothers & sisters.
We all know how harmful it is to us when someone mocks us,
Or speaks ill of us, or breaks our hearts;
It. Feels. Terrrible.
So why is it such a natural reaction when in the presence of others?

It is hard to balance it all sometimes.
For as the Bible tells us,

Matthew 7:13 ESV

¹³ “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. ¹⁴ For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”

I pray & pray that we may choose that gate.
The one that Jesus led us through.

I pray that today we choose to be kind.
That we love each other as Christ loved us.
That we encourage one & other accordingly,
& that we will be blessed on the difficult path of right living.

Much love to you friends.

Let Peace Come Over You.

⁷⁸because of the tender mercy of our God,
whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high
⁷⁹to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the way of peace."

It has been an extremely long time since I have written anything.

Life has changed a lot, so I will do what I can to recap.

I am now a nursing student, at Kaplan University,

And am beginning my second term (out of five) in a matter of weeks.

I am now back in the saddle with youth group.

I still work on the weekends at Cold Stone,

And I now work during the week at Kaplan, in the financial aid department.

I am still single and content with that,

Though I do still struggle with it every so often.

God has been shaking my life up tremendously!

I don't even know how to explain the depths of his faithfulness.

I am realizing more and more how Jesus died for us.

A grueling death, deserved by no man, especially a perfect one...

He died for You & I, to give us freedom,

That we choose to freely return to when the opportunity arises.

Lately, I have been struggling with pride.

This is an ongoing issue for the last couple months.

I am have a bad case of the 20 somethings.

I sometimes feel like I already know,

Or that I have gone through it,

Or trying to one up people.

It's annoying for everyone involved.

God is teaching me humility though.

I am genuinely trying to be better about it.

Sometimes it just feels like what you have to say,

Is unimportant, or that you are not successful without a cool story.

When I think about how God has provided forgiveness,

Every time I have asked for it,

It makes me so thankful that I am so blessed to have the option.

Jesus did something that is so unfathomable,

That I can't comprehend the fact that I am that loved.

Man, oh man.... Life is good.

Oh praise the one who paid my debt,

And raised this life up from the dead.

Jesus, You're the One,

You take my life....

I love you guys.

If you need anything,

Just ask, or pray for it.

Watch God shake you up.

C:

Truly,

Sammee

Thanksgiving.

4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
6Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer, petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will gaurd your hearts and give your minds in Christ Jesus.

Life. is. excellent.
Yet, I still seem to find things to complain about.
I'm in a season in life where I'm really trying to enjoy God,
& discover who I am in Him.
It is very difficult.
I am on a minstry hiatus.
Which as you may know, or may not,
I have been highly active in ministry for about 5 or 6 years.
But when I first started to do it, it was an escape.
Now, after some gentle nudging from God,
That I don't value WHO I AM
But, WHAT I DO.
It has put me into an identity crisis.
Not in a negative light, but a realization that without ministry,
I am just as worthy of love & acceptance.
And for that I am greatful.
And shoot, I'm working at not complaing on what I'm "missing out" on.
Ha ha. I'm going to give all of you permission if you catch me doing this,
Correct me.

With this comes random oppurtunities to serve & be served.
Last week I visited my dear friend Laura at school in the cities.
It was great. It was the first time my roomate & I went on a long distance trip together.
We spent some excellent quality time with my dear friends, Neal & Natasha,
Which haven't I haven't seen in a long while
&... I got the oppurtunity to meet their sweet baby girl. :]
Oh how good that was for the soul.
Jesus was the center of the trip, which was great.

Last night, I embarked on a youth ministry lock-in.
I was commisioned to help, when the numbers came in for the lock in.
After praying, I agreed.
Man, those kids will whoop ya.
A couple accepted Jesus in thier heart,
& almost immediatly you can see the enemy getting jealous.
With that, came some great prayer ministry.
There was all kinds of good time had.
Dodgeball. Scavenger Hunt. LOTS OF ENERGY DRINKS had by leader.
Good Conversation.

What a sweet life I live.
God is good.

Thanks for being great.
I love you all.

O Holy Night.

Truly He taught us to love one another;

His law is love and His gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;

And in His name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise His holy name.

I don't even know where to begin where God has taken me in the last month.
I'm officially in Cedar Falls, which has been incredible.
It has definitely been an adjustment.
Very little is the same as it was before.
There is more responsibility at work.
More responsibility in my heart.
For finances, for family, for myself.
Discipline really is difficult sometimes.

I now live with a dear friend of mine,
Her name is Haley & we met in 2008 when we both lived in the dorms.
We lived across the hall from each other on UNI's campus.

To be perfectly honest, besides that, I don't even know how to describe life.
I am learning a lot about being satisfied with what God has for me.
Which is hard, because it requires sacrifice.

Which is so ridiculous.
Being the fact that Jesus sacrificed his life for me.
& I can't give up my tiny qualms with the details of where my time is spent,
Or where my money goes.

My goodness.

To go back to the song lyrics up top, they are from O Holy Night.

Truly He taught us to love one another;

His law is love and His gospel is peace.

I don't know about you, But during Christmas, the world doesn't quite seem at peace.
It seems the opposite.
Families fighting over gifts,
People stressing out about how they are going to get by financially.
This Christmas, I'm praying that we can feel his peace.
& that your souls may have rest.
Take 5 minutes out of your day, to meet with the King of Kings.
It will bring you to peace, that's for sure.

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;

And in His name all oppression shall cease.

How incredible is these lines?
How many of us have seen what the chains of oppression can do.
Addiction, Anger, Depression.
The list goes on.
Now, how many have seen God's redeeming power at work.
That is the reason Jesus was born into this world.
To save us from our chains.
To set us free.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise His holy name.

Lastly, The fact that we owe him so much more then we can give.
He has so much love for us, we can give him all of ourselves,
Which is so much less then he deserves,
& He says he will give us rest.
I want to give my life for that.

I don't know if you know the song the little drummer boy.
But I want that to be my lifesong this Christmas.
Giving all I have to Him.
Even when I feel I have nothing.

Little Baby.
I am a poor boy too.
I have no gift to bring.
That's fit to give the King.

Shall I play for you.
On my drum?

Mary nodded.
The ox and lamb kept time.
I played my drum for Him.
I played my best for Him.

Then He smiled at me,
Me and my drum.

Be blessed this Christmas season.
You are dearly loved.

Why Have I Forsaken You?

Oh man.
Life gets so crazy, so fast!
To catch people up, I am moving back to Cedar Falls.
On November 30th (After I drop my brother off at the airport)
I have a job & housing lined up! (Thanks big G) :]

My brother is home for a month.
It has been interesting to have him around again.
Very strange.

My little sister is 13 now.
What?!
Who allowed that to happen?

And in the midst of this,
I've maintained to be selfish as ever,
Lacking in my discipline.
And generally ignoring Jesus.
It's been....... interesting.

Why is it when things are going great,
We forget (or ignore) who made it so?
I once heard someone talk about the fact,
That 3rd world countries are more spiritual,
Because they must rely on their faith,
To meet basic needs.
I want to blatantly say....
I haven't been doing it.

Man. Why is so much easier to fake it.
Fake being faithful,
Or even faking feelings.
Why is it easier to manipulate,
Then tell the truth & pony up?
Because that would take effort.
Sacrifice, Humility & Discipline.
And who wants that....

I do. I truly do.
But I've been SO lazy lately.
There have been incredible things that God has done.
I say thanks & move on.
Not taking a second to think of how blessed I am.
Or taking the amount of time God deserves,
To worship him with all of me.
I have been worshiping, just not nearly enough.
And society tells me it's okay,
Because I've been so busy.

I stand to say,
It's NOT alright to neglect an all loving God.
Who sacrificed His son.
So we can live in such sweet relationship with him.
Sometimes I feel like such a phony,
When I think about how big God's love & forgiveness is,
And that I'm called to do the same.
I can say I'm dealing with stuff, people, & emotions.
Admitting it is easy.
It's the actually dealing with & pushing through, that is the issue.

So from here,
I pray.
Pray for forgiveness for being such a jerk.
Pray for grace for the times I fail.
Pray for perseverance when I feel like I can't do it.
Because I'm not doing any of this alone.

None of us are.

There is a love so sweet,
That all of this is just wiped away if we ask Him.
Well I"m asking.
Are you?

Go with love.

Amazing Grace.

"Grace can be defined as unconditional acceptance,
granted to an undeserving person by an un-obligated giver."
- Tullian Tchividjian

So I was reading Stuff Christians Like this morning,
(Check out the blog HERE)
(Check out Jon's twitter HERE)
And it was talking about fear of the word religion.

I don't know if you've done it in the past,
But I know I have on so many occasions it's disgusting.
Someone says, "I have a question for you. You're religious, Right?"
And you respond, "I'm not religious.... I'm a Christian."

It talks in the blog how, that does not make a difference person.
Think about it. If they are asking a question that pertains to faith,
Then they may not know the difference.
If anything, you may make them feel guilty for not knowing the difference.

It made me ponder.... That is all I'm going to say about that today.
It is something to think about.

Just a disclaimer, today's blog is going to be random.

Life has been crazy.

I don't even know if I can explain it.
I love it.
It's the crazy where you have time to really live.
Not a busyness, but an adventure.

At the same time,
I'm really facing my pride.
It is rearing it's ugly head.
The pride that tells you,
You know everything.
That you don't need anyone's advice.

Jesus is really working on my heart on it though.
He is so faithful.
No matter how full of myself I am.
He humbles my heart,
& speaks words of love and grace.

God is so undeniably good.

Random notes.
I went on a hike the other day,
& in nature, God really reminded me of His glory.
He made every tree,
Every rock.
And He made them to cry out to Him.
How incredible is that?
















































Also, I went to see The Almost.
(Check them out HERE)
It was funny, because there were only about 50 people at the show.
At most :P
But there were like 5 people getting down.
Everyone else just stood there,
But then they busted out the worship stuff,
The atmosphere changed so much.
It's like everyone woke up.
It was truly beautiful to see, God's children dancing & praising him.
So sweet.

:D :D :D
My twin brother, Matt, comes home from the U.S. Air Force in 18 days.
I'm so ridiculously excited.
He will be back for a month,
Then he is going to Japan for 3 years.
That's a long time.
Thank you Jesus for Skype!






















Be blessed in your week,
And remember you have a Jesus who loves you!

Oh, Gravity!

Psalm 37:3-7 (NIV)
3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
⁴ Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
⁵ Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
⁶ He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
⁷ Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Psalm 37:3-7 (The Message)

^3-4 Get insurance with God and do a good deed,
settle down and stick to your last.
Keep company with God,
get in on the best.
^5-6 Open up before God, keep nothing back;
he'll do whatever needs to be done:
He'll validate your life in the clear light of day
and stamp you with approval at high noon.
⁷ Quiet down before God,
be prayerful before him.
Don't bother with those who climb the ladder,
who elbow their way to the top


For those of you who read my last blog,
You know that I was in a really dry place in my life.
Well, that has changed. :] :] :]
God woke my heart up & thawed it to what beauty he has.

First of all, I wasn't going to be able to be a youth leader on Wednesday nights,
Because of some understandable things at work.
It was disappointing to say the least, but I understood.
Well, I knew God had a plan, & I knew not to be overly upset.
Things worked out, without complaining from me to my boss,
And I got Wednesdays off because we had a staff come back to the house!
That was an amazing gift!
Youth has been bananas lately too.
Kids are coming out with issues that need to be cared for.
Addiction, Un-forgiveness, Physical injury.
& As leaders, we are praying for them,
And trusting Jesus with them, & trusting him to guide us as leaders.
(Have I mentioned how much I love youth ministry???)
Check out the youth facebook page HERE!

As a tiny add on, I confronted someone.
Not in the angry kind of confronting.
But the loving kind, where you honestly want better for the person.
"Carefrontational"
I did so, & I expected anger and hard feelings.
I got love, respect, & gratitude.
It was incredible.
I love true friendship!

Secondly, I got an internship with The Spirit.
(Check them out HERE!)
I love it. I am learning a lot & it is really reminding me how great it feels to serve others.
I litterally walked in and asked if they needed an intern.
They said yes, three weeks later, here I am.
4 days into the internship, & learning more and more about Jesus, culture & music.
Lovely.

Lastly, I got to go to Cedar Falls last weekend.
It didn't turn out at ALL the way I expected it to at all.
I ended up staying with a dear friend of mine & her kids.
It was a total blast & it definitely blessed my heart.

I should probably go back to doing intern things now :P
Remember how much Jesus loves you!
Love & Blessings,
Sammee Bean