Loving.

It's hard to fight the fact sometimes, you've become the person you swore you'd never be.
Someone who is prideful, selfish, & defensive.
I've become that person over an extended period of time. I don't know how. But I did.
And I'm the only one to blame. I'm not proud of that at all.
I felt it flare up before I moved to Green Bay, then it peaked there, it has plateaued there.
This is not the person God designed me to be. I am trying to change.
But... You can only get so far without letting God help you.
It doesn't matter how much advice your friends and family give you, if you don't let it sink in.
It will change. I will have to be patient with myself, and everyone else during the process.
It means, getting broke down once again, to become whole.

Honestly, I can't wait.
I know it will be uncomfortable, maybe even painful.
It's never fun becoming humbled.
But it's time to get my big girl panties on and deal with it.
You can only get so far by not accepting the truth.
I'm embracing it.
And God's truth that I can change.
And I will change if I ask Him to.
Well here goes.
I'm asking.

All of this doesn't mean I'm not still completely optimistic.
I still totally am. I am still positive.

I appreciate my parents and friends being patient with me.
And taking the time to teach me, and feed me,
And love me.

I am truly blessed.

I love you all. ♥